Today was a memorable day. A day that started with good news, and ended with an excellent dinner. Both memorable in their own way. Memorable not because of the discounts on everything that can be bought, but rather because of the price of everything that cannot.
The day started early, and it started well. I got news from a beloved friend, just two words. “I’m in.” That’s all it took to make the day beautiful. She did it, she got where she wanted, she made it to the next level. And she wanted to share this moment with me. Out of all the things we’ve shared, all the problems, preoccupations, anxieties, and insecurities, that was the one thing that beat everything else. That was the end result of a very long effort and lots of hard work. And it felt damn good to see her cry from happiness.
It reminded me of the moment I called another friend when I was in the same place in which she is now. After so much effort, so many sleepless nights and seemingly endless strain, I got a “yes”. I called my friend, and I told him then the same thing she said to me today. “I’m in.” I will never forget his reaction. He started yelling with excitement on the phone, he was ecstatic. He might have been happier than I was in that moment since I still hadn’t realized very well the implications of the “yes”. But it was so natural for me to call him and share my joy with him. It was as natural as me sharing the joy of my friend today.
It is surprising how much the happiness of someone about who you care can affect your own. Either in a good or a bad way, of course. When they are overflowing with happiness, being happy with them is the only natural thing to do, isn’t it? And when they’re down in the gutter, what can you do apart from empathizing? I guess not too much.
My friend’s news put me in a very good mood. It had been a long time since I felt so cheerful. It managed to get me through the whole day, with all the other events in between, up to the point of dinner. An excellent dinner in excellent company. Dinner with a new friend who is slowly getting accustomed to us, and with an old friend who is not really a friend. More like a brother. An excellent dinner in excellent company and a topic of discussion that led to the inevitable realization. The end is nigh.
No, not the proverbial end. The actual end of a chapter in my life is nigh. In less than a month, this chapter ends, and a new chapter starts. So many things will change in this month. So many things that now are present will become past. So many people who are here now will be there then. So many things will have ended, and so many others will have started. It is a little scary, but also exciting. Mostly exciting, I would say. But also scary. And, let’s be honest, a little sad.
Someone asked me once, will you miss the city when you move away?
To be honest, I don’t think I am able to miss a city on its own. I miss cities with the people that made them worth living in, but a city on its own, to me, means nothing at all. When I went to Sydney, I was quite impressed, it was the experience of a lifetime. I visited the Opera House, I saw whales, I went to Bondi Beach, it was amazing. But I don’t miss Sydney. I don’t care about Sydney. It is a very beautiful city, but there is no one there for me. For the very same reason, I do not miss my home city. Which is not Sydney, of course, but it has something in common with Sydney. There is no one there for me.
I will miss the city where I live now. Not because of the city, but because of the people that are here with me now, in this period. Because of the people who have been here with me, with whom I shared some time, the people who left something with me. I know that once I am gone, this city will be just a sweet memory because I will selectively forget all the bad things that have happened here. I know I will. This is standard procedure. But there will be nothing more for me here. Everyone who was here with me is now somewhere else or will be somewhere else in the near future. We will meet again sometime, reminiscing about our time in this place that will bear no meaning, but it will not be the same. The chapter is almost written, and when it closes, it will be closed for good.
The good thing about chapters is that they start as they end. The end of a chapter is a prelude for the next, and on to the next one, and the next one… In new chapters, characters reappear, stories continue, meetings are renewed. Fortunately, the world is a place big enough to fit all our dreams and still small enough to keep us close. Wherever our dreams may take us, there is always hope to meet an old friend. Or at least that is what I want to keep in my heart, the hope of not losing myself and my friends.
It was a good day today. Memorable, with a happy beginning and a bittersweet ending. The beginning of a new chapter for my dear friend, and the end of my own chapter here.
I didn’t shop today. But I feel like I got what I needed.
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